Deleted Scenes from the Sermon on the Mount

And if any woman thinketh that her way is straight and her dominion a tidy one, let her enter her master bedroom, remove her bed and behold the great filth that lies before her. Let her take out her mattress and box springs, whisk away the ineffective dust ruffle, take out the slats and dismantle the frame. Let her then vacuum forward and backward until her back acheth as her children clamor to rescue their abandoned treasures located therein. Let her shampoo her carpets, remove the disgust from her baseboards, assemble her new bed, lay in her new comfort and forget the misery that once dwelled there.