I realized this morning

that i am officially a redneck, for the following reasons:

• i live in a doublewide in texas across from an empty field with neighbors who use their trampoline as a clothesline
• i keep tweezers in my minivan (should be pickup!) to pluck out my chin hairs at stoplights.
• i keep needle-nose pliers in my bra drawer to re-shape my underwires and hooks
• this morning, i couldnt flush the toilet because the handle couldnt work. my husband came in to fix it and realized that the paper clip he'd used to hold the parts together had rusted through so he decided to really fix it this time and used a safety pin instead.
• i was scoring standardized tests yesterday and took issues with a kid's paper because he misused the word 'barbecue.' additionally, as I read these papers about learning to fish, hunt and fix cars I understand exactly how they feel about their lures, guns and engines.

(Sorry for the complete lack of grammatical conventions--I originally typed this somewhere else and I'm too lazy to fix it.)