Gretchen: How was school today?
Dixie: Thumb's up!
Melody: Thumb's u--well, I had to write my name in the book in P.E. today.
G: What happened?
M: Eh, I don't want to talk about it right now.
G: Fair enough.

Later that day . . .
G: Are you ready to talk about what happened in P.E. today?
M: No. I really do not want to talk about it.
D: But you HAVE to talk about it. I HAVE to know what you did.
M: I just really don't want to.
G: Did you learn the lesson you were supposed to learn?
M: Yup.
G: Fair enough, then.

It is KILLING me to not know what happened in P.E, but I am resisting the urge to email the coach or call the teacher. Knowing Melody's personality, whatever happened will never happen again, she will give her actions and choices the weight of thought and consideration necessary. She already figured it out, the teacher handled it, why do I need to get involved?

It's strange having the girls in Kindergarten so many hours of so many days. It is odd seeing them do things and having them know things that I did not teach them. I think the hardest part is knowing that there are entire friendships I do not know about, feelings I am not privy to and thoughts that I do not know the origin of. They have experiences that I do not share in and it is so strange to me.

I am pretty sure I did the right thing, not pressing the issue. Not circumventing her decision to not tell me by asking the teacher, not nagging her or forcing the issue. She's such an autonomous creature, that girl.


Jen said...

I totally understand how you feel! My girls are in daycare, not real school, but what they learn and what happens that I'm not part of is killing me! I've been home with them for so long, and to not know every minute of their day is so hard sometimes!

Aunt Rhody said...

Ah, now you "get" motherhood. It's that feeling of being totally out of control of their environment that messes with the mommy head. And that is what your mom and I and many others spent hours and hours talking about--especially after middle and high school. Letting go is so against 'mother nature'.

sandra said...

I think it is great that you are giving her the space to deal with it. I hope I will be able to do the same once my son is older. I think it is important to not always be involved in every single little detail, they need to learn do deal with things on their own, and this is a great learning opportunity for her. I bet it is so hard though.

Cindy said...

Just get me the PE teachers phone number. I'll call. : )

Gretchen, I always enjoy your posts!

Missives From Suburbia said...

I bet it was very blog-able, whatever it was.

This is a great post, G. One I'll be taking to heart in the next couple years.