Charlie and The Fat Man

Charlie is a fan of Santa. A BIG fan of Santa.

We go to see him a few weeks ago. The three kids are supposed to be posing on his lap for a picture, but Charlie can't be bothered with that nostalgic nonsense. He gets right down to work.

"I like gween," he tells him.

Santa says, "Oh, I like green, too. I also like red."

"I WEALLY like gween. I like gween a LOT."

Santa, not getting the hint, replies with, "Green is a Christmas color and Christmas is my favorite time of year."

Charlie goes for the direct hit. "I like gween Hot Wheels."

"Oh! Do you want some Hot Wheels for Christmas?"

"I want ALL de Hot Wheels. All de gween Hot Wheels and all de udder Hot Wheels. You bwing me all de Hot Wheels?" Charlie searches the bearded face for signs that the deal was struck.

"What else would you like for Christmas?"

"Da Hot Wheels."

Santa moves on to Melody with his questions, who answers, "A horse." Dixie concurs.

I somehow don't think they prepare them for that in Santa School.

After they move along, we go outside to where they have phone booths set up. See, the indoor Santa was really just there for the photo op. At $5 a photo, time is too valuable to spend in chit chat.

Melody picks up the phone and repeats to the person, "A horse." There's a minute or so of silence, then she says, "I already have one of those. I'm ready for a real one now."

No plying rocking horses on my kid. Too smart for that.

Well, Santa came through for the boy. Between Santa, Aunt Jackee, Aunt Bethie and Melody, he is now richer by at least forty Hot Wheels that he carries territorially in a baseball backpack given by Aunt Joanne. You've never seen such a happy boy.


Linda P. said...

Wow! If Charlie was a negotiator at the United Nations or something--he'd cut through all of the official b.s. and get straight to the point--"OK--you are not going to invade whoever, RIGHT??"

scott butki said...

charlie would make a great ambassador.... provided, of course, the country involved only colored hot wheels