Charlie is your man. Not only is his bathroom time a constant monologue, he is willing to accompany you to the bathroom and offer advice. Examples include:
"Pee is easy. It's just pee. It's not hard."
"Dat poop is being tricky, but I know it can make it out."
"Dest stand dere and hold it. Da pee knows where it's supposed to go and it will go dere if you just stand dere for a little while."
I wish he'd been there coaching me on this morning. Instead, he was out back in the sand box with Dixie, where the following occurred:
Dixie was building a sand church.
Charlie wanted to put toys in the church.
Dixie said he couldn't.
Charlie said, "You're not part of this family," (because that's what she always yells when she's mad at me).
Dixie told him he could 'build his own damn castle'.
Charlie spit on her.
Dixie threw sand in his eyes and mouth.
Melody looked up from her chapter book long enough to observe, "I don't think Charlie wanted that sand in his eyes."
It was a lovely, long morning.