11/18/08

I'm gunna kill him

I come home tonight at 7:25--a bit later than I've been getting home lately because I had an extra hour. I'd left chicken defrosting for him to make dinner with, but no explicit instructions. What does he decide to do with it? Wake fried chicken tenders for dinner. With the kids. I come home to Dixie cutting the chicken into small pieces with a large knife and dropping it into the raw egg and Melody flouring everything. Of course they're wearing new velvet dresses with no aprons and standing on upholstered chairs. Charlie is screaming at Dowlan's feet while he mans the stove.

So I come in, take over, get the kids decontaminated and Charlie calmed. I see that Dowlan has microwaved some frozen broccoli and think 'Ooh, he remembered a vegetable. Points for Dowlan.'

Then Dowlan drops the broccoli in the left over hot oil from the chicken and fries it up a bit, then covers it in a sauce. Yes, you read that right: the man fried the broccoli.

We sit down to dinner and the kids tell me about their project. Melody drew up some plans to make stilts, so they went outside and made them. Hmmmm--small, clumsy children with power tools making stilts out of metal and splintery wood.

Could someone please find this man a job so that I can go back to caring for the children?

12 comments:

Mamalicious said...

I could gag over the thought of touching raw chicken. I really don't handle any raw meat.

Mighty impressive chef with the frying of the broccoli. That's a new one for me.

Holly

Nikki said...

Ouch!! I'm sorry!!!

Bdubba said...

As long as no one got hurt and my DH cleaned up the after-math, I'd just be ecstatic I wasn't the one cooking! lol

Fried broc is a new one to me too...he still gets his veggie points though, right? ;)

Betsy said...

EW! lol. Better then mine, he thinks that french fries and tater tots together are a meal. I am still praying for that job to come along for him!

Rebecca said...

YAWZA'S! I perish the though of touching the raw chicken! AHH! At least he remembered the veggie, even if it was fried! LMAO!

thevirtualvoyeur said...

Holy crap. You can fry broccoli? Can you deep fry it with batter? I may have to look into this

Cara said...

Fried Broccoli hmmmmm... wonder if I fry it if I can get the kid to eat it

Anonymous said...

That is hilarious!

Zaanah said...

My mom makes the most delicious fried broccoli. Except she uses just a bit of butter and not oil. Maybe that is considered saute? I dunno. I am obviously NOT a cook.

The Beach Life said...

Yikes!

Sandi said...

How did it taste? He maybe onto something...

Mary said...

ROFLMBO! He fried BROCCOLI?

Well, the kids are alive & no one had to go to the ER, right?

;)