So on top to providing Thanksgiving Perfection for 15

I have to clean up when it is done. Oh, dear.

The social worker called and our Adoption Homestudy is Sunday at 2:30. Say a prayer, light a candle, cross the fingers, take the pins out of the voodoo doll--do whatever it is you do.

See Dixie has a tendency to say the most perfectly inappropriate thing fathomable. One day, as I was clicking her into her car seat, we had the following conversation:

Dixie: Mommy, why do you hurt me ALL the time? You are so mean to me and make me cry?
Mommy: How do I hurt you? How am I mean?
Dixie: When you click me into my car seat you pinch me with the clicker. And you hurt me EVERY DAY! Your fingernails scratch.
Mommy: If you can sit still while I click you into your car seat it wouldn't pinch. It only pinches when you are wriggling around and I have to use the car seat straps like a lasso. And if you would get your straps on yourself, which I know you can do, then you don't risk me scratching you with my finger nails because I don't have to dig around looking.
Dixie: Harumph. Well. Well. You're mean.

This was another favorite that happened when Dixie slipped climbing out of Charlie's crib:

Dixie: Dammit!
Mommy: What did you say?
D: Dammit.
M: Where on earth did you learn that word? We NEVER say that word!
D: Oh, it's my grandma's favorite word. She says it all the time.
M: I have known your grandmother since I was twelve years old and I have never once heard her say that word.
D: Oh, it is her favorite. She loves to hear me say it. I say it every day because it makes her laugh and smile so much!

See what I mean? So I can just imagine the conversation with the social worker:

Social Worker: How do you like your new home?
Dixie: Mommy hurts me EVERY DAY.
SW: How does she hurt you?
D: She pinches my bottom and scratches me with her fingernails. Every day.
SW: How does that make you feel?
D: Like saying, "Dammit." I say dammit every day.

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