I was driving down the street the other day and saw a banana peel in the road, so I swerved to avoid it. Then I laughed at myself--did I really think the entire van was going to slip, go flying into the air and land on it's bumper?
In other ironies, I was in Kohl's yesterday. I saw a lady wearing a shirt that said, "I'd rather be shoe shopping." She was wearing this while in the shoe department. I guess the subliminal message got to her.
Also, I was driving along recently and saw a very large man riding a bicycle. You could tell he was struggling but I thought, "Oh, good for him! He's trying to improve his health!" That is, until I realized that the reason he was having so much trouble was because he was trying to smoke a cigarette while riding a bicycle.