Melody: Mommeee! Mommeeeee! i have a fire ant bite! they bit me, and then they bit my baby rolie polie and oh no!
Dixie: And they bit me too!
Melody: Why do they like to bite people sooo much?
Dixie: Yes, Mommy, tell us! Why?
Melody: Is it because we're so tasty?
Dixie: Please, Mommy! Tell us!
Melody: That MUST be it! Because we are so very tasty.
This is from the same girl who got dressed this morning, only to have a nosebleed seconds later. So she ran around in her panties, singing panty songs. Remember the panty pocket? It's back, only it now doubles as a kangaroo pouch.
Yes, Melody's size 2T panties are so big and baggy on her 4.5-year-old body that she has room to hold a doll, wrapped in a blanket inside.
Did I mention that she started asking yesterday, in the middle of church, 'Yes, but how does daddy get the seed inside your uterus?''Was it hard work?'
Of course, I'm telling you all this to avoid the gruesome stuff. We'll just say that yesterday was officially Bloody Sunday and that Charlie is lucky he doesn't have more teeth. And the people at our local hospital are very good at sedating babies to sew their tongues back together.
And a PSA: get a proper, stable stool for handwashing.
That is all.