Tonight, Our Fortune Cookies Said:

Charlie: You will be called upon to help a friend in trouble.
(And you will go up to that person, clap for them, then lean over and bite them, much as you bit Mommy on the ass last week while she was trying to stretch out her back.)

Dixie: Appreciate the caring people who surround you.
(And not just Daddy. We get that you love daddy. But please note that putting pinkeye medicine in your eye does not make me a mean person. I really was not enjoying your suffering. Ditto for strapping you into your car seat, not letting you stand on the kitchen table to build with blocks and requiring that you eat a vegetable every now and then.)

Dowlan: Treat others as you would treat yourself.
(This is not meant to be taken literally. Charlie, for example, does not need Mountain Dew. Remember Dixie's second cookie? Yeah.)

Melody: You will be extremely successful in business.
(After growing up with Dixie, I have not a doubt in the world that you will be very skilled at taking charge, negotiating for toys and convincing the people around you that the blame lies elsewhere. For instance, when I asked you where you got the soaking wet Mr. Clean Magic Eraser that you were washing the coffee table with today, and you immediately looked very sad and replied, "I didn't want to do it. Dixie found it. Dixie got it wet. Dixie handed it to me. She told me to clean it with this sponge"--well, let us just say that Kenneth Lay of Enron infamy would have gotten away with it had he had your approach.)

Mine: You will always be surrounded by those who love you.
(Yes! This morning, when I woke up with a pinched nerve and Melody kept tickling me to 'make me smile' as Dixie kept piling blanket after blanket on me, applying firm and random pressure as she smoothed them out, causing even more fun stabbing pains, yeah, I was surrounded. As Charlie kept whacking me with his hand to say 'there, there' and biting me (you guessed it) on the ass and Dowlan kept puttering around the house, ignoring the throng of children surrounding me and occasionally popping in and saying, "Oh, honey, does it still hurt that badly? Can I get you anything?" there was no doubt that I am loved. It was quite prominent when I went to Home Depot for moulding and Dixie couldn't go four minutes without calling my cell phone to remind me that she 'loves me' and that she 'wants me to come home soon.' I am well aware of being surrounded. Could it perhaps be taken less literally?)

No comments: